P’tit Soeur did it again, another superb restaurant recommendation on our fabulous Florida trip. Before Diva #1, P’tit Soeur, and Sweet Pea left for Florida, we knew a few things about each other:
- We are all bitches
- We have the capacity to kill each other
- Sweet Pea would likely be the mediator between her sister and her bestie
After a few days, we were pleasantly surprised to discover that not only did none of us fight, but Diva #1 and P’tit Soeur got along so fabulously that we no longer needed Sweet Pea as the middle person who had brought us together. We were soon roaming around naked in our condo, sharing secrets, taking sexy photos and just having a fabulous time. Actually, we had a lot of fun ganging up on ol’ Sweet Pea and teasing her a bit. On one particularly wonderful night, we all dressed up in bright, colourful and excessively patterned FCUK dresses and went to Joe’s Stone Crab in South Beach to try this infamous Floridian restaurant.
Joe’s Stone Crab is a huge restaurant: a fountain of Bacchus greets you at the door and church-like windows are high overhead before the tall ceiling and medieval chandelier. We decided to order a bunch of dishes to share to experience as much as Joe’s Stone Crab delights as possible. There were many delicious appetizers on their menu such as Joe’s Stone Crab Bisque, grilled Florida avocado with duck confit hash and a variety of delicious seafood and meat salads. Sadly we could not have them all! When the bread arrived at our table we were quite happy; this warm little bread basket offered a variety of buns and slices of bread that had us fighting over the butter.
Our first appetizer, the coconut shrimp, soon arrived. Now let’s preface this by saying that we loved this appetizer so much that before the end of our meal, we ordered a second helping. The coconut shrimp came with a sweet dipping sauce and a curry mayonnaise. The sweet dipping sauce is the more traditional sauce for coconut shrimp; coconut shrimp is often served with mangos or grapes. The curry mayonnaise was the more interesting option but very little should be used per shrimp, so as not to overpower the deep fried coconut goodness.
Our second appetizer was the Florida little neck clams in a bag….they literally came in a brown paper bag. The clams were a little too salty for our liking; they were good but not amazing. The presentation was interesting and though the vegetables were plentiful, the Andouille sausage was not. The butter clam dipping broth was filled with shitake mushrooms which was a bonus and added to this concoction of flavours, but we would not order this salty appetizer again.
We decided to share one of the sides which was a lobster macaroni and cheese. It was cheesy and tasty but Diva #1 has had better lobster mac n’ cheese. It could have been creamier, and the noodles were a touch overcooked, but it was decent. We also tend to be macaroni and cheese snobs; Diva #1 can be a tough critic. Other options for main meals included a variety of baskets such as fried chicken, fried shrimp, lobster roll, filet mignon sliders, etc. There were many things on their menu that we would want to return and try.
The pièce de resistance was the king crab legs; this is the main reason that you go to Joe’s Stone Crab. There were many seafood platters on the menu that tickled our fancy such as the King Crab Claws, crab cakes, lobster, etc; but our waiter recommended the King Crab Legs so we went with that. You will get messy sucking the crab meat out of their shells but Joe’s thankfully cracked most of the legs for us so there was minimal biting and breaking of the shell; all that remained was to suck the meat out. The King Crab Legs came with an amazing roasted garlic key lime oil but it wasn’t necessary, the meat was all that we needed.
Joe’s Stone Crab also had a variety of fish options such as sea bass, scallops, black grouper, New England Cod, etc. What was really nice was that all of their fish options were served with unique sauces and sides to truly compliment the individual fish. We were already full, especially after our second helping of coconut shrimp and opted to order a side dish instead. P’tit Soeur wisely chose the sautéed summer corn that was roasted with cilantro, butter and lemon. What a delicious side dish, light and wonderful, it was great with the crab legs. We also ordered a side of hashed potatoes, as per our waiter’s recommendation but we ate them too quickly and never photographed them!
We never got to try the meat dishes at Joe’s Stone Crab because we were getting too full. There were baby back ribs, filet mignon, lamb, etc. We decided to go for dessert instead. Sweet Pea was pretty upset that on her previous visits to Florida she never got to try key lime pie because they were always out in every restaurant she went to. Now back in Florida with Diva #1, she was luckier (Sweet Pea always says that Diva #1 has a horse shoe shoved so far up her a** that she can taste the metal) and finally got to try Floridian key lime pie. Their dessert menu was extensive but nothing can top key lime pie!
The key lime pie was the proper mix of the sourness of the key limes and sweetness. It was marvelous! We were soon so stuffed that we almost had to be rolled out of the restaurant. Our dresses were a little tighter but we were content with our meal. We left Joe’s Stone Crab happy and ready to enjoy a beautiful night in Florida.
Being the awe struck Canadians that we are, we were really excited that Walmart is open 24 hours in the US. So off we went to Walmart, overdressed after our spectacular dinner, in search of some necessities like aloe for poor Sweet Pea’s burnt back and nutella to satisfy P’tit Soeur’s craving. We certainly had an interesting experience at Walmart. We first witnessed a large angry looking woman wallop her loud toddler with a box of frozen Eggos….after we burst out laughing, which subsided into wheezing, we realized we could not find Nutella. This was a travesty against humanity and as we walked around we found it… in someone else’s cart. So P’tit Soeur nudged Diva #1, who grabbed it out of the person’s cart while we ran to the cash in a fit of giggles and continued running (prancing in heels) out of Walmart with glee.
We returned to our condo and enjoyed the view from our window. It was the day before American Independence Day and we were really excited to plan our festivities for the following day. If you are in the South Beach area, it is worth it to go to Joe’s Stone Crab (and the nearest 24 hour Walmart). We are looking forward to going back to that restaurant and trying some of their other dishes. However, make sure you look up the restaurant beforehand. Sweet Pea’s cousins tried to visit a few weeks after the Divas’ visit and found that they were closed for the rest of the summer!
Our Rating: Splendid
Tagged: Alaskan King Crab, Baby Back Ribs, Black Grouper, Calamari, Clam Chowder, Clams, Crab, Crab Bisque, Crab Cakes, Filet Mignon, Filet Mignon Sliders, Florida, Florida Avocado, Florida Little Neck Clams, Fried Chicken, Joe Weiss, Joe’s Stone Crab, Key Lime Pie, King Crab Legs, Lamb Rack, Little Neck Clams, Lobster, Lobster Macaroni & Cheese, Lobster Roll, Mac n' Cheese, Mussels, New England Cod, Octopus, oysters, Salads, Scallops, Sea Bass, Shrimp, South Beach, Splendid, Stone Crab, Washington Avenue